Witness Protection
by WithoutWingsX
Summary: After witnessing their mothers death, 17 year old Edward Elric and his younger brother Al have been placed in the Witness Protection Program. Being in an immediate danger, excessive precautions must be taken. Can Ed deal with having to impersonate a girl, and Al acting as Ed's father? When you add in Highschool, Principle Roy Mustang, and romance... FOREVER HIATUS
1. Yes Father

**This came to me after watching 'Never Been Kissed' and Ouran High School Host Club Episode 1 for the 70th time. All I know is it is late at night and this may be because I am sleep deprived, but I thought this was really funny. Well, that and the fact I was going through all actors looking for someone who could play the role of Edward Elric. I did find Al, Riza, Hughes and Greed so far lol.**

_**This story contains Royai, EdWin, Maiphonse and Havocca, and maybe even Feska.**_

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Witness Protection

"Brother! Do you want them to find us? They already killed mom, or have you forgotten? This is just until the people after us get caught." Al tried to reason with the stubborn man.

"Al Dammit! I am 17 years old. I will not go to school again, much less be a damn girl!" Ed protested and Al glared at his brother.

"It isn't that bad.." He said but Ed butt in.

"You don't have to act like a teenage girl! You get to be my father for Pete's sake!"

"Well it isn't my fault I graduated high school 2 years early." Al protested. "And I can't pass for a girl, I am too tall and have a more manly appearance." Al tried to reason but Ed started yelling.

"I graduated early too! So why do I have to be a girl in the first place? Why can't I be a guy? And it isn't my fault I'm only 5ft 2!" Ed said, tears running down his face.

"You have to do it because that is what the witness protection service told us to do. Two blonde brothers going into a small town alone and without family living there would be too conspicuous" Al said and huffed. "Look brother, soon we will be done with this. So just deal now... okay?"

"Grr. I am going to get that stupid witness protection manager," Ed grumbled and Al looked over at the clock.

"Brother, we are going to be late, so go get dressed!" Al directed and Ed ran off, then walked into the kitchen a few minutes later with his usual outfit on.

Al smacked Ed with the frying pan. "Brother, what part of _girl_ can't you grasp? You are Edith Elric temporarily. That means your pants need to be looser and get rid of the coat!" Al directed and Ed crossed his arms.

"I have no idea what a girl would wear." Ed said bluntly and Al sighed.

"We will go shopping after school and when I get off work. But now, I will help!" Al said and dragged his brother back into his room. Surprisingly Ed had already unpacked. Al rummaged through his closet for a second before coming out with a pair of baggy black jeans and a red v-neck t-shirt. He handed the clothes to Ed and he reluctantly changed. Then Al grabbed a hair tie and fastened it on one side of the shirt, causing a small inch of Ed's skin to become apparent. Then Al changed Ed's hair from a messy braid into to braided pigtails. Ed groaned and looked in the mirror.

"I look like a girl, a freaking flat-chested, blonde, short GIRL!" Ed yelled and broke down while Al patted his back reassuringly.

"Let's go," he sighed and they loaded into the car. Ed huffed when Al said he was driving, but it did make sense for his "dad" to be the one driving.

…..xXx…..

Winry and Mai walked down the sidewalk to the school. It was humid in the air and Winry was already sweating slightly. Mai bounced around like always, her black hair swaying with every step she took. Finally the school came into view and Winry paused to tie her shoe. When she stood up, something caught her eye. A black car made its way to the school entrance and Winry could make out two figures in the window. Two guys, it looked like. Mai seemed to notice too, as she grabbed Winry and pulled her toward the front door.

"Looks like some new kids!" The Xingese girl squealed and Winry sighed. Where did she get all that energy?

They approached the office and Winry looked warily at the car. It looked like the two people were yelling at each other. Then a taller… boy? got out from the driver seat and walked around to stand in front of the passengers door. Winry couldn't help but notice the man was really cute. Then the other door opened and Winry felt her heartbeat quicken. She wondered if this boy was as cute as his brother?

First a black clad leg slid out, followed by the other. Winry saw a flash of someone's face, a very cute face, and the person slid out. To reveal an adorable girl standing there.

She was slender and short, even Winry probably had a few inches on her. She had on a red shirt and black pants, her shiny blonde hair was in two braids and her gold eyes were narrowed. Must be a one of the middle schoolers or something.

Mai elbowed Winry. "Look at the boy," she whispered, "he is cute." But Winry was more interested in the girl. She looked….. Different. There was something about her that seemed…. Winry couldn't put her finger on it. The bell let out a shrill ring and Mai jumped and grabbed Winry's hand.

"We better go!" Mai said and started pulling Winry through the halls. But then they were blocked by a huge shadow and they looked up fearfully.

"Girls! How lovely to see you today! Your presence has been requested in the office." The man sung. Winry sighed. Of course it had to be Armstrong, the school gym teacher and most emotional man ever. He herded the two into the large reception area where shouts could be heard from inside a dark office. Mai and Winry looked at each other knowingly.

Then the door flung open to reveal a blonde woman strutting out. A pencil skirt covered her legs and she was wearing a matching blue blouse. Her feet were clad in black heels and her hair clipped up. In her arms was a huge pile of paperwork and a staple gun.

"Come on Riza, seriously!" A yell came from the office and a dark-haired man crawled out. Paperclips were stuck in his arms and he had a few staples covering his blue shirt. He stood up and started to pluck out the office supplies.

"Look sir, next time do the paperwork in the allotted time." The blonde woman said sternly and the man grumbled under his breath. The woman slid into a desk in front of the girls and let out a sigh.

"Sit." She directed and the man sat down in the middle of the floor. She groaned and banged her head on the desk. "I meant the girls… and in a chair." She said slowly and he stood up again.

"Hey Principle Mustang!" Mai waved at the man and he smiled and waved back.

"Hey girls, do me a favor and can one of you try to take the staple gun from Riza." He asked, making puppy dog eyes which resulted in a staple implanting itself in his forehead.

"Go do the paperwork!" Riza yelled, pointing the staple gun at the Principle. He groaned and walked back into his office, slamming the door closed. Then Riza looked at the girls.

"Ladies," she nodded and then was interrupted when the office door swung open. A girl stormed in followed by a blonde boy. Winry took a second look, they were the two from earlier.

"Mr. Elric?" Riza asked and the tall blonde man nodded. "And I guess this is your daughter Edith." She noted and once again the man nodded. Daughter? The man looked like he was barely older than them.

"It's Ed," the girl spat and turned to glare at her father.

"Okay Ed, since this is your first time here, I have two girls to show you around. You have the same schedule as them so it should work out fine. I am the Vice Principle and the Principal is.."

"Right here!" The door swung open and Mustang strolled out, with a smile plaster on his face. "I guess you are the new senior?" Winry and Mai looked at each other and widened their eyes. This girl... was a senior?

"Your kinda short!" Mustang said to Ed and the girls face turned red and she growled.

"Who are you calling so short they could ride a ant?" She yelled and her father smacked his head.

"Br... Ed. That's not what he said. Now calm down." The man directed and Ed turned to glare at him.

"You might want to get to your first class. Mr. Elric, if you could just stay behind so we can discuss your daughter," Riza said and Winry and Mai stood up.

"So let's go," Winry said with a smile and Ed grumbled.

"Bye _daddy,_" She said as they walked out of the office.

"So our first class is science." Winry said and led Ed down the hall. They walked in the class room and the teacher greeted them.

"Hello, I am guessing you are the new student. I am Dr. Marco," The man said with a smile.

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**Rawr please.**


	2. Crazy Vice Principles and Staple Guns

**Back with another chappy. Thanks to all my fabulous reviewers, you guys rock. I am disappointed in this chapter, it is not my best. But hopefully it is good enough for y'all. So without further ado...**

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"Hello, I am guessing you are the new student. I am Dr. Marco," The man said with a smile.

"Yep, this is Ed," Winry spoke up.

"Thank you Winry, you and Mai can go take your seats." Dr. Marco said and the girls obliged, leaving Ed at the front of the room with Dr. Marco. Ed looked out to see a crowd of chattering kids, not even paying attention to their surroundings. Dumb shits. Ed also saw Mai and Winry sit down at one of the workstations near the back of the room. It was odd, instead of desks there were small tables filled with beakers and chemicals, like mini lab tables for 3 people.

Suddenly the loudspeaker on the wall crackled to life.

"Helloooo?" A voice broke out and then a thump was heard. Someone let out a girlish scream. "God Riza, seriously?" Then another thump and crackling. "No! Who gave you the staple gun." The sound of clicking filled the air and then a loud scream.

"Oops." A feminine voice said. Then the sound of a door opening and another voice filled the office.

"God Riza, you stapled him to the wall?" A woman's voice asked and a shriek of pain came from the microphone.

"Yeah Becca, I did. He wouldn't stop goofing off. I do not tolerate his behavior when he gets in one of his child like moods. So I dealt with the problem. That is all. Period." Riza said and then an audible groan was heard and the shutting of a door.

"Okay sir, have you learned your lesson?" The Vice Principle asked.

"Yes, yes!" Just point that thing away from me!" Ed was laughing on the inside, but the other students were just looking at Dr. Marco knowingly. The teacher sighed and picked up the black phone on his desk, dialing a few numbers and holding it to his ear.

The sound of ringing came from the loudspeaker, and then a click. "Hello?" Riza asked and Dr. Marco sighed.

"The loudspeaker is on. Again." He said and Ed muffled a giggle.

"I know," The voice responded. "Hello children. This is your Vice Principle. Your Principle is not available right now. The point of this innuendo is this. Behave, or else. You know who you are. And Coach Armstrong, stop hugging the children. Seriously, it is kind of creepy…. and keep your shirt on please. So have a good day, and the next person to write on the hall walls is going to get it." The click of the staple gun was heard and then the loudspeaker shut off. The classroom was quiet except for Dr. Marco grumbling to himself.

"That woman…." He said and looked up. "Okay class, we have a new student. This is Edith Elric." He said and gestured to Ed, who stood there looking bored. "She just moved here." He continued and Ed wanted to rip someone's throat out. God damn, why did he have to be the girl? "So Edith, do you like to be called by a nickname?" The teacher asked and Ed nodded.

"Ed." He said and the Teacher smiled.

"Okay Ed, there is an empty seat in Mai and Winry's group. Today we are working on chemical reactions. Winry can probably explain it to you." Ed nodded and made his way to toward the seat. That was until someone decided to rudely stick there leg out to try and trip Ed. So Ed just stepped over the foot and "accidentally" kicked it with his back leg, the metal one. The kid let out a squeal of pain, but Ed just smiled and continued on his way.

Ed slid into the seat next to Winry and the blonde girl smiled.

"Hey Ed, so anyway, we are supposed to mix the chemicals and observe which solution has the most acidity." Ed nodded. Piece of cake. Winry reached for a bottle of red liquid and Ed stopped her. He grabbed the bottle of 70% Alcohol and the purity hydrochloric and grabbed an empty beaker. Winry looked at him and he smiled reassuringly.

"I got this," he said with a smile. And honestly that unnerved Winry.

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**RawR please! And just to make something clear. Winry and everyone else thinks Ed is a girl. I refer to Ed as He, because he is still a guy. But when in Winry's POV, she thinks of Ed as a girl, so Ed is referred to as She. Does that help? If not... I just have trouble with stuff like that sometimes. And someone PMed me to say that it doesn't seem likely that they would let Ed and Al live alone as minors, and force Ed to be a girl. This is how I percive it. This is Amestris still. Come on, they let a 12 year old kid and a suit of armor travel across the country on military business... and I think the Witness Protection lady liked to screw with them too. Trust me, there is a reason she did that... you will find out sooner or later. So RawR (r and r :P) please.**


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